Soundbites:

 

Sochi

AN: “I think the coverage was disgraceful. The worst thing came when the US said beware the toothpaste bombs are coming, and they might be on any plane flying to Russia. This is like Russian intelligence saying ‘beware – there might be bombs on all the planes coming to America for the Super Bowl’. You don’t do things like that, it’s a provocation.”

 

Tube strike

JD: “I think Bob Crow certainly earns his £130,000 a year. It’s extraordinary isn’t it that he’s earning that much money – he’s supposed to be a horny-handed son of toil. He’s done a good job for his members. There’s not much technical skill involved in most jobs and they get paid an average of £52,000 for standing there looking at some monitors. You can’t let people like that hold London to ransom.”

AN: “The buck stops with the Mayor of London Boris Johnson, who gets how much? £500,000, with his fee from the Daily Telegraph. The mayor promised not close these ticket offices – that was his election promise. He then turns around and does exactly the opposite. Boris Johnson carries the main blame. H should not have allowed this to happen. It’s all very fine for him to talk about bikes – he should fix the Underground. He should step down. Boris - step down."

 

Scotland

AN: “Cameron is so unpopular that as soon as he says something is good or bad, people do the opposite. So I think he shouldn’t have talked about this wonderful marriage that England and Scotland have. Cameron blew it – that’s the end of the Union.”

JD: “Scotland is a failed state. If Scotland were independent, it would be like Cuba or somewhere. If Scotland votes to go independent, I would say the blame lies largely with the incredibly poor campaign conducted by Cameron. He truly is the heir to Blair – whatever he says, you’re so disgusted you want to do the opposite – so I wouldn’t be surprised if Scotland did vote now to go out after that silly speech."

 

Wendy Deng saying Tony Blair has a beautiful body

AN: “In a normal civilised country, the comedians would slaughter him. Unfortunately the comedians now are so timid and bland and leftie that Blair can get away with it.”

 

Floods in Somerset

AN: “The British government should have asked the international community –primarily Russia, to send their boys from the emergency ministry and they would have sorted it out quickly. But because they are all cissies in this government and environmental agency, they are discussing it at COBRA meetings. This is a parody."

BC: Russia’s boys are probably busy in Sochi at the moment, though.

AN: “No, that’s different boys.”

 

UKIP good showing in Sale East by-election predictions

AN: “The problem with Farage is that he’s not a statesman. He doesn’t project the image of someone who knows what to do.”

JD: “He’s a revolutionary leader - like your Lenin. He sees a corrupt system and he wants to overthrow it and I think he will.”

 

Vatican criticised by UN over sexual abuse cover-up

JD: "The UN's always criticising someone. It's not a body that has any relevance to anything. which isn't to say that thousands haven't been abused and it isn't an appalling thing. The Catholic Church needs to get its house in order."

AN: "I sent a letter to the previous pope saying, why are you saying sorry for the paedophiles who infiltrated the Chuch and have nothing to do with religion?"

 

Actor William Roache cleared of rape charges

JD: "It's very clear that he was putting it about a bit. But I do think this whole rush of celebrity sex cases is bizarre - for crimes that were committed allegedly in the '60s and '70s. We should draw a line under this. Celebrities are a soft touch."

AN: "The police and the prosecution service have no common sense any more."

 

UK Action Man v US G.I Joe (now celebrating its 50th anniversary)

AN: "Children always undress these dolls to see if they have a penis."

JD: "Action Man didn't have a penis. He had much better kit than G.I Joe."

AN: "G.I Joe was thick, you could see he was."

JD: "You used to be able to buy Action Man kit - a German uniform, a paratrooper uniform, all sorts of uniformas. And then all that military stuff that boys like started to go and all you got was things like scuba diver and explorer and environmental campaigner and stuff."

(VoR)