11 August 2013, 21:28

Best satire about Snowden: he leaks info on catastrophic and 'inevitable solar tsunami'

Best satire about Snowden: he leaks info on catastrophic and 'inevitable solar tsunami'

The Internet is ablaze by a ludicrous conspiracy theory that Edward Snowden, a former CIA agent, has predicted series of solar flares, set to occur in September of 2013, will kill hundreds of millions of people.

It has been joikingly argued that the documents collected by Snowden offer proof that the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) learned about the existing threat 14 years ago. Ever since the world’s governments have been working secretly to be well prepared for what could be termed as "Solar Apocalypse".

It is believed that Snowden, speaking from his room at the Sheremetyevo Airport’s hotel, said that the government has been working hard to be well prepared for September’s catastrophic solar flares, which can be fraught with fatal consequences, as scientists claimed – they can lead to the death of mankind.

The Internet Chronicle ironically notes that the Central Intelligence Agency learned about the existing threat as long ago as 1999, but according to the government’s decision, this information was immediately made secret.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) that has collected the documents warns about the terrible results of the solar flares: it persuades that in two months the mankind would extinct.

Ever since the late 20th century, hundreds of millions of people have begun to rely on technological automation to enable their very lives. And, as solar flares release electromagnetic pulses which are hazardous to electronic circuits, even the smallest electronic circuits, such as those in computers’ central processing units, would be be the most vulnerable.

The Internet Chronicle jocularly notes that Snowden said FEMA and the National Disaster Reduction Center of China have been taking steps for 14 years in light of the findings of Project Stargate.

FEMA’s own documents, allegedly provided by Snowden, quazi-lay out how the organization plans to round up tens of millions of the poorest Americans for housing at secure locations "to better facilitate feeding and provision of consumer goods."

"The massive electromagnetic pulse from the solar flares, or 'the killshot', will shutter most of the world’s electrical systems," is said to be the Snowden's opinion on the possible danger. 

"The Americans whose lives are most at risk are the elderly and the infirmed, those who depend on technology to enable their receiving home care or life-sustaining medical treatment,” the issue quotes Snowden as saying. 

Humanity is about to pay a most dire price for its technological dependence.

According to idea attributed to Snowden, that price proved a leading factor in his decision to come forward to the press – about both the global Holocaust to ensue, as well as NSA analysts’ power, on the slightest whim, to listen to the phone calls of any person on earth. Mankind has the right to know what it will expect in the future, no matter how dreadful it will be.

Voice of Russia, Internet Chronicle

  •  
    and share via