7 December 2012, 18:22

UPDATE: 13 days, 20 hours to the end of the world

UPDATE: 13 days, 20 hours to the end of the world

The Mayan Calendar will not end on December 21, 2012 at 11:11GMT, the calendar is simply to be reset to begin the next cycle called the 14th baktun, marked by the end date of the 13th baktun or 13.0.0.0.0. All over the world people are predicting cataclysmic events yet there is almost no scientific evidence pointing to anything extraordinary that is supposed to occur. However, just in case we are keeping an “eye on the world” for you. Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard is the latest to predict horrors, read on to find out what.

Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard, known for unapologetically making statements not entirely in keeping with the truth (e.g. Julian Assange’s activities), has come out and stated what many the world over are afraid to say. Yes, according to Gillard the world will in fact end on December 21, 2012.

In a video address to the citizens of Australia which has gone viral on the internet  Gillard warns that the end is near and that it may come from unexpected sources:

Gillard: My dear remaining fellow Australians, the end of the world is coming. It wasn’t Y2K, it wasn’t even the carbon price. It turns out that they Mayan calendar was true. While Australia’s best and brightest at the SCIRO have not been able to confirm this, I am confident in Triple J’s prediction that the world is about to end. Whether the final blow comes from flesh eating zombies, demonic hell beasts or from the total triumph of K-pop, if there is one thing that you know about me it’s this: I will always fight for you till the very end. And at least this mean I will not have to do Q and A again. Good luck to you all.

I wonder what Julian Assnage would say to her claims that she will fight for all Australians to the end, but that is another story.

Gillard is not alone, even respected meteorologists, such as Cleveland Ohio’s channel 5 Chief Meteorologist Mark Johnson, are predicting the end is almost here, his weather forecast for the days after the 21st of December are alarming. On Saturday December 22nd, Mr. Johnson says the temperature will be 150 degrees, on Sunday December 23rd 420 degrees and on Monday 512 degrees, and this is in Fahrenheit. According to Mr. Johnson Tuesday will see the beginning of a cooling trend with cooler temperatures of around minus 52 and on Wednesday down to minus 90.

Meanwhile police in Shanghai have been warning residents the world will not end, obviously in an attempt to keep the masses in check so they will all die peacefully and not cause too much work for the police who will be busy making their own preparations.

The Communist Chinese conspiracy to lull the masses into obedience is also being promoted and assisted by the US space agency NASA at the direction of the Illuminati and New World Order, who know the world will end and want us all to die so they can be rid of us because the world does not have the resources to continue supporting 9 billion humans.

Meanwhile the US is surrounding Syria with warships and mobilizing troops to invade the country and then Iran, which will kick off World War III and the Holy War of Armageddon and the battle for Jerusalem and Israel as is prophesized in the Bible, a book the US has been using as a basis for its foreign policy.

We are still waiting for Satan to reveal himself, one of the key signs of the Apocalypse. Rumor has it that it may be a former US vice president or secretary of state, but so far there are no concrete reports.

In West Hollywood California, another serious location we must watch, end of the world parties are being planned, sponsored by the local government (also privy to secret Illuminati knowledge), encouraging people to meet California’s slide into the Pacific Ocean with drink and song, while they secretly escape in their rescue pods.

Seriously though, one more time I would like to repeat: the Mayan Calendar is not ending! December 21, 2012 is only the end of the 13th Baktun and the beginning of the 14th . See you on the 22nd.

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